Death
Thank you for your comment on the "My Aunt" post mystery lady.I enjoyed reading about your Aunt,you weren't rambling.
I've had two people die recently that I knew,Billy Cowsill and my Aunt Evelyn.I called a friend of mine last night because he has been sick.His cancer has spread to his lung and lympth nodes,he doesn't have long.
He is only 35 and has a wife and three little girls,it breaks my heart.He has always been fairly active,worked hard,and never smoked.
Then there's me,smoke like a chimny,abusing my body with every known substance for years,and I get to live.....knock on wood,who knows.
I think my depression lately has been because of these recent deaths.It's made me look at how short life really is,it's cracked my bubble,we are so sheltered from death in our society.
It's made me revaluate my life,and I've come up sorely lacking I'm afraid.Most of my forty years have been trite and meaningless I feel.
I have no wife (Couldn't keep one anyway) no kids,no career,a few possesions,my guitars and leather jackets are my dearest I suppose.
I've always wandered and been a transient,never seeing the point to life,and I probably never will if I haven't by forty.
Things society values I've never really cared that much about,monetary success mostly.Immortality through children,people wanting to leave their mark,why?
Most people live like they will be on earth forever,building monuments to themselves,hoping to be remembered.
I have always lived like it will all end,never seeing the point to it,I still think I'm right.
I don't care if people remember me,it won't matter when I'm gone anyway.
My tombstone will read...."Here lies.....uh....don't remember his name.....may he rest in peace".
posted by James Sterling @ 4:53 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Sorry to read about your friend, I hope that he doesn't have too hard a time and that he doesn't suffer too much pain. I feel for his family too, if he's only 35 then his lil girls are probably pretty young... much too young to lose their dad. I have a 15 year old daughter who absolutely idolises her dad and it made me think of her and how she would miss her dad if he were no longer around.
I also have a friend who was recently diagnosed with ovarian cancer. She is 39 and has a 19 year old son.
She has been going through all the routine cancer tests and stuff and just yesterday started radiation treatment. She has to go 5 days a week for 6 weeks and every tuesday she has a dose of chemo and today was her first time.
She has a very good attitude tho and I think that must help a lot. We all try to keep her spirits up too... altho a couple of times I have sat down and cried for her. They tell her that her chances are about 70%... i dunno if that's good or bad.. only that it's better than 60 or 50 right?
btw... i have never met this lady, she is one of my chat buddies but i've known her for a couple of years and she's become a really close friend, sometimes i think she's more a part of my life than some of my 'real life' friends. She's a very strong woman and I only hope that if I ever have to deal with what she's going through that I can be as strong as she is.
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